Sunday, March 30, 2014

How to Love.

First of all I would like to say praise God for this day, my life, and the direction he has given me. 

2014 has truly been the year "the revolutionary year of my come up" just as I predicted it, and we are only in our fourth month so I can only imagine what God has planned. 

This year has offered me many battles to face, and I won't say I've failed, because if that was the case, I'd be dead...

But as the old folks say, "It sho ain't been easy!" 

One of my hobbies is reading about astrology, my sign being Virgo, the 3 most important values to us are Family, True Love, and Sincerity, all three of which I have tattooed on my shoulder. 

In the past, my love life and that true love, has played a vital role in my happiness. Not to say that I wasn't happy otherwise, but as people old attest to, nothing beat being in love. 

And this is true; love can make you feel as if everything in life is illuminated. 

Like the world now makes sense, because you and this person are now united.

Nothing could EVER mess this up.

But the problem is...Things do go wrong. People do mess up, they get irritating, forgetful, distracted, lazy, and sometimes...even a little mean. This is life!

But God tells us that his love is unconditional, and that we should love everyone with that same notion. 

Many people profess to love someone with all their heart, but please believe it comes with some conditions... 

It may sound foolish to just give and give all this love especially to everyone, and I do mean everyone, but God loves every single person on this planet even as we continue to lie and sin every single day. 

You can't show me one person who can stand up and say they have NEVER been even a little; irritating, forgetful, distracted, lazy, and maybe even a little mean sometimes, themselves. 

But being in love, as I learned in Oprah's Life Class, means being vulnerable. 

Putting 100% of you trust in someone not knowing whether they'll keep there word, or if they even love you back. 

Because Love ask for nothing.

 It just gives and gives and gives. 

So ask yourself... Am I  giving that true love? The ultimate forgiveness understanding, and respect? 

Do you even REALLY love yourself?

But back to me...

I based all my happiness on whether my "conditions" we're being met in the exact way and time that I expected them to, and the moment they weren't I'd lose control over my emotions and act out of anger, sadness, or confusion, instead if thinking logically. 

I'd think it was my fault, or their fault or blah blah blah and inevitably we'd break up, my world was crushed, my heart was broken and at one point I didn't know how I'd make it through another day. 

No one can live with such unstable emotions and be truly happy. 

Spending all this energy hoping that something bad would happen to the people that had hurt me or criticizing  people in their life, wishing negatively, or feeling sad about what was no longer was normal.

I deserved to feel like this, because of what I had experienced.

But as you can imagine, its hard to go around feeling these things. It caused me to become emotionless, afraid to love anyone, because I was too scared that it would all come crashing down again. It's hard to see a way out of that type of pain.

 I was full of so much disdain that love could never exist...

The problem is I was putting too much LOVE in man, and not enough in God. 

God is Love. And Gods love is forever!

HE SHOULD BE THE ONE that makes you feel illuminated, like everything in the world makes sense, and nothing could EVER mess this up, because the funny thing about God is nothing ever will. God is perfect, pure and simple.

Nowadays my outlook is...

"If God can continue to love and guide me after every bad thing I've done, and continue to do, because I am human. Then I can love my brothers and sisters in Christ like that too."

Through the lies, through the cheating, through the hurt, through everything, on both ends I can still rise above and love all God's children with all my heart. 

Now that don't mean that I'm gonna be with you!

Figuring out whether or not to be in a relationship with another human begins with loving yourself enough to know what you deserve. Once you do that, you won;t be seeking love from other places, so when that man or women does come along, it'll just be icing on the cake.
But I have no enemies, or resentment in my heart toward anyone. I'm too thankful for Gods grace and mercy toward me. I've been lied to, cheated on, and betrayed. But so what! They did it to jesus, and he forgave EVERYBODY, so what makes me any better? 
We choose our reactions to the bad things that happen to us. And you can either choose to move on and be happy, or dwell on what wasn't and may never be.

I can now say I honestly feel like I'm in love at all times! Because I'm in love with Jesus, and he ain't never gon stop loving me! 

So I'm never going to stop loving YOU or ME. No conditions, No worries, No regrets. 

My love is overflowing because that's what God expects. It's as simple as that first decision.

And nothing feels better than this! 


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